Blogging about things that give you anxiety…
Is probably totally unhealthy. Because it just like… reinforces your axieties? But I can’t help myself. And then I’m like why do you people choose to entertain this? And my issues? And my 50 millions feelings? Writing this right now is giving me neurosis and anxieties and feelings. That is ridiculous. I appeared to be much healthier in the head when I bottled up all of my feelings, only occasionally spilling my guts to my cat. Christ. It is ridiculous. And you can try to explain it, but it’s not something you can really explain and then trying to explain it? Guess what! Gives you more anxiety. And I know that everyone has issues and neurosis and anxieties and I can’t say mine are much worse than anyone elses, but I can tell you that for whatever reason, I am VERY bad at handling them because whatever, just call me immature or something, I don’t know, so then comes Tumblr and you know it’s nice because I know some of you guys understand and if I write one more time about my crappy friends, then maybe it’ll really bring the issue home that I just need an anonymous (sort of) arena in which to spill my guts (that is not a cat because let’s be honest, cats don’t talk) or my mom (because my anxiety is giving her anxiety) and I could also tell you that right at this second I think I should call my doctor and have him up my medication and I don’t care if it numbs the brain, I’m tired of thinking and wondering and worrying and analyzing everything. You know? Anyway, I hope I come off as a more stable person in real life than I do on the internet, because holy shit. Holy shit.
Hey, Doc…
This sounds exactly like something I would write. I started spilling my anxieties on the internet too. I used to keep everything tightly inside but then tried to tell my husband about what’s going on in my head. That didn’t work. He would say things like “Don’t worry about that because…” Yes I KNOW IT DOESN”T MAKE SENSE. I KNOW. That’s why it sucks because all the fucking things in my head can’t be turned off by logic and it feels like I have two people in there and one is fucking nuts and the other is like Hey that doesn’t make sense. But I haven’t gotten up the courage to go to the doctor about it. I just cry and cry and cry and do my homework and make myself sick and try to keep it inside so I don’t make everyone around me crazy too.
